Penholder
by Maelza
Summary: Sequel to 'All Around Me' but you do not have to read it to read this story, they go good alone or together. Sasori is dying and reminisces about his past life and about his relationship with Deidara Warnings inside


Warnings:  
Deathfic, SasoDei or DeiSaso, however you perceive it Songfic, OoCness I think? lol fluffy yaoi/shounen-ai

Sasori, Deidara, Chiyo, Sakura, Tobi, Zetsu, Konan, Pein all (s) Masashi Kishimoto  
Penholder (c) Flyleaf  
I own the plot thought wewt for me? (Vatelle/petite-neko)

Even though this is a sequel, you do NOT have to read 'All Around Me' but If you do its good too!

* * *

My eyes snapped open as I felt a foreign object entering something, piercing something and stabbing something it should not. I felt a pair of swords stabbing my only living thing in this body – my heart. My face seemed to portray fear – like that of a scared child. I quickly regained my composure, smirking as I looked up to see two bitches – Chiyo and that pink-haired girl. I conversed with the two, rewarding them of their 'achievements'

My body dropped, the strings are released. I barely heard the two, almost falling into a state of unconsciousness, and will soon be overcome by death.

Suddenly a flicker of blond and blue flashed in my mind.

_Deidara_!

I... I must hold on until he comes here… I must!!

Time seemed to stretch for an eternity and it was not art. It could never be art…

_I feel your eyes crawling over me  
As though I am something more than me_

-

_I glance back to Deidara as he stares at my exposed torso – that of a puppet._

"_Danna…," he says rhetorically, a gentle yet amazed smile upon his face. "You… you made yourself into art…," this time, it seems as if he wished for an answer, though the phrase itself did not require one._

"_Yes Deidara, I am the true form of art – immortal and everlasting," my voice is neutral. Deidara doesn't have any physical acknowledgement from me, as my face is within a book._

"_If only I could do that…" he mutters before leaving the room._

_-_

Now, I realize, I was never _truly_ art. I never would be.

_But I don't have anything good enough to say  
I did not make myself this way_

-

"_So...," Deidara starts, "you're saying you don't have any emotions and feelings hn? I don't believe that! You must have some form of emotions and you just can't cut off __**all**__ of your feeling! You're lying Sasori no Danna, you need to have emotions to live hn…"_

_I think for a moment to myself, 'I have to have emotions to live?' I then voice my opinion, "then prove it to me brat."_

_--_

_I didn't think the brat would take it seriously, and most of all, to try to get **that** emotion out of me. Anger or annoyance was one he could settle for and probably succeed, but he chooses the one which I was sure died along with my old human skin._

**_Love_**

_How could he think I had such an ability left?_

_But… in some queer and impossible way…_

_He succeeded._

_-_

Black was beginning to take over my vision at the edges. But... I must hang on for him… I... I needed to tell him goodbye – and most of all – sorry.

_I'll show you what he did  
But I won't take the credit  
It's not mine anyway  
I just held the pen that day_

-

"_KATSU!" The words ring out in the air before an explosion deafens his voice and all other noises. The explosion causes the destruction of all life within its perimeter and possibly beyond._

"_Danna!" Deidara yells out to communicate with me, his voice only slightly louder than the death around us, "did you see that hn?! Wasn't it beautiful?!"_

_That brat always tries to get a compliment from me, for me to acknowledge his existence and art in a positive way. A small chuckle escapes me, a gentle smile upon my face, "Perhaps," I speak with indifference, the smile still sitting upon my face. I feel arms wrapping around me, squeezing me tightly._

"_Thank you…," he breathes into my ear._

"_You're welcome," I say as I place my lips gently on his._

-

I hear movement, but I cannot be too sure if it was reality, a dream or memory. My heart is struggling to remain alive.

_And I don't deserve this  
This time right now  
It's not something for which I can take the bow_

-

People who saw us – those in the streets – thought something wrong. They thought about who was who in our relationship. They were wrong, wrong in almost every aspect. Deidara wasn't mine…I belonged to him.

_-_

'I…ND…IT!'

What was that? An annoying voice shrilled me and shook my senses.

_  
And I don't deserve this  
It wasn't me  
I can't take glory for something that I can't be  
I don't deserve this  
_

_-_

"_Danna, you're beautiful…," Deidara whispers to me secretly, that soft yet seductive smile on his face._

"_How so?" I ask him, wrapping my arms around his waist._

"_You turned yourself into art; you are a true artist… I… I cannot do that and stay with you… I cannot become art and remain here hn. You are beautiful, wonderful… you are__** you**__."_

_-_

If I could, I would have laughed at that memory. I was not art. I was dying; I was not immortal, eternal. I could never be.

_  
I know what perfection is like  
And I cannot stand before it's might_

_And I'm so far from what you think that I must be  
I just drown myself in mercy_

_-_

_I watch Deidara's hair swaying in the wind, a clay figurine in his palm. I envision his face preserved for eternity, but I suddenly know it wouldn't be the same. '_Nothing immortal could be paired with him_,' I realize in my thoughts. '_Does that mean… I'm fleeting? No, that can't be…,_' for the first time in my life, I doubt my art, what I had become._

_-_

'_I really __**am**__ fleeting…,'_ my mind finally connects with the truth. For once, I embrace it.____

I'll show you what he did  
But I won't take the credit  
It's not mine anyway  
I just held the pen that day

I began to wonder and see other options, '_if I hadn't allowed Deidara to touch my emotions… would I had ended up this way? If… we hadn't gotten too physically and emotionally tied to one another… would I be lying here on the brink of death? It is… a __**possibility**__… but, I wouldn't have it any other way.'_

That brat better hurry up.

_  
And I don't deserve this  
This time right now_

_It's not something for which I can take the bow  
And I don't deserve this_

-

'_I failed to protect him, he told me to. He told me to protect him from his own insanity, I promised I would. I… I wasn't there to save him, I almost let him slip away and allow us to part. '_I broke it, I lied_.' I think as I watch the heart monitor, beeping slowly, "Deidara…," I whisper in his ear, brushing my lips over his. Time seems to slow for me, but the tears couldn't fall, my body trained to stop them as they brim. I glance at his face, then down at the floor. _

"_D-Danna?" I hear the word stuttered from a voice I knew too well._

"_D-Dei?!" I speak, the relief tainting my voice._

"_DANNA!" he yells with tears breaking through his eyes, his arms wrapping around me, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!!"_

"_I'm," his voice is interrupted by a sob, "so sorry Danna!!"_

_My arms shake as they wrap around his frame and I stroke his hair softly, "Shh Dei…It's okay, you're alive…," my voice says in a calm and gentle manner._

_He sobs again as he looks into my eyes, and I in his. I looked softly into those bright blue eyes sparkling with life and guilt. His lips move to speak, the words soft and weak, "Master Sasori…let…let me make it up somehow…please…"_

_I shake my head slightly before speaking, "Later Dei…Later…" My soft strokes on his hair turn into a more loving manner. "Not again Dei…please…," I plead, my voice full of worry and grief._

_Deidara shakes his head, "don't leave me," he whispers in a child-like manner._

_I bury my face in his hair, '_how could you think I would do that? I love you too much…,_' I think to myself but I speak in a soft yet strong voice, "never."_

-

My mind wandered to how he could love me so after I broke my promise… the blond was just too confusing. Though…, I probably would have done the same thing.

_  
It wasn't me  
I can't take glory for something that I can't be_

'_Eternal…' _I thought to myself, '_that word is non-existent… there is no such thing as eternal, everything has an ending, whether it be in ten seconds to ten thousand years, everything dies and fades in time. That rule applies to me as well, I was no exception. I now learn this fact, a fact that the blond was trying to teach me since we met. I was a fool to think otherwise… I just hope I can live long enough to speak with him for a final time.'_

_  
I don't deserve this  
This time right now  
It's not something for which I can take the bow  
And I don't deserve this  
_

I remember how we always argued about art, but I know now that I was always wrong. Our arguments were always a cover-up so we would not be caught in out relationship. Only Leader-sama and Konan knew, as they had a right to. I almost laughed at that prospect, '_How would he take my death?_' I thought to myself, feeling an ache in my chest that wasn't from the swords.

_  
And all the art that I supposedly create  
Is simply a faded reflection of something he's already made  
_

I groan and managed to open my eyes weakly, hearing the cracking of my life's work.

"Like anything that is left for the future as a thing of eternal beauty... He got killed straight off!" I hear a foreign voice say, yet the voice seems so awfully familiar.

I can barely see, but I noticed the blond locks. I can barely pick out voices and words, but I understand that Tobi and Zetsu are here.

"I'll be right there hmm," I hear Deidara speak and see his blurred form kneel down to face me.

I move my lids and struggle to meet my gaze with his. I catch his blue eyes and he gasps, blinking.

"D-Danna?"

_  
And I don't deserve this  
This time right now  
_

I feel my body weakening on me, but I managed to lift my arm and cradle his face, "Shh… I-I need to… to talk…," I managed to speak out with a sat yet satisfied smile on my face.

Deidara gulps and I could hear and see his Adam's apple move.

"I… don't have much time left… but… please don't kill yourself on… my behalf. Don't be… so selfish," I manage to smile hopefully, "I've finally seen it your way…," suddenly my body goes into a horrid fit of coughing, blood escaping my mouth.

I feel his arms embracing me, "Why…," I hear him sob and ask.

"It… it will be alright Deidara…," I whisper.

_It's not something for which I can take the bow  
And I don't deserve this_

"You're supposed to be eternal Danna! You're supposed to be art! You can't be fleeing! I won't accept it!" He sobs, squeezing my wounded body tightly, "you can't leave me!!"

"I… wish I was but… it looks like I really am art, fleeing and all," I smile as I feel the world fading, "one more… kiss…pl--," I cough up blood again, "-ease…" My senses begin to fade yet again, but, as I faded into darkness, the last thing I felt were his soft lips on mine.

A sense of nostalgia runs over me, '_I wish I could truly be eternal…_'

_  
It wasn't me  
I can't take glory for something that I can't be  
I don't deserve this

* * *

_

hahah yes another songfic XD I liked this one and I wrote this right before I went to bed well the ending haha :( SADNESSS but omg ..;; I luve it sooo much and yes I know I changed tenses but, im too lazy to change it


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